Mixed Bag!

Week 8

15 stone 7.5lb.

3 stone 7.5lb to goal

0.5lb loss

37000 steps

Bit of a mixed week! I had good and bad days with my food. I was either exceptionally good or exceptionally bad.

I’m struggling with my pain just now, most days I’m in agony, I’m taking lots of pain killers, and feeling sorry for myself. And I’ve always been an emotional eater, so I’ve been picking. But deep down I really wanted a good week, which is why the good days have happened.

I’m happy with 1/2lb loss! Yes, I wanted more, but I’m beginning to realise that this is going to be a slow and steady journey. I’ve got too many other things going on to want to focus just on eating healthy.

I will be good as much as possible, and I will try and make good choices as often as I can, but if I have a bad time, I’m not going to stress about it. I’ve also made an appointment with my Doctor to discuss pain management & might ask about upping my anti depressants too. I’ve got the best support team though and they know what to do to make things better.

Anyway – other stuff! I had my 30 year work anniversary on Wednesday! It doesn’t feel like 30 years. I’ve been genuinely happy there, I’ve learnt so much, and grown so much. And I work with some of the most wonderful people. They have me, they look out for me, they are there for me, they are my family. And I wouldn’t want to work anywhere else.

I’ve had a moment too! I’ve been dying my own hair for as long as I can remember- I have grey hair to cover – but recently I’ve been going lighter, and have ended up blonde. They didn’t have my normal colour this month so I bought a bleach blonde! And jeez! It worked! Not sure I like it, it’s a bit yellow, but I’ve got lots of purple shampoo that apparently strips the yellow out so fingers crossed.

I’m away with work next week, I’m going to Paris. I love going away, I really do, but I’m tired and sore, and I’m not looking forward to it this time! I’ve also got my confidence & anxiety issues that don’t help! I’ll be fine once I get there, it will fly by, and I will learn lots, but just need to get to Tuesday first.

So! Till next week in my muxed up world……

Much love

Instagram. #michelle1969

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Back to Being Me!

I’m not ready to give up yet!

I’ve had a few really bad weeks, but it’s mainly been down to my virus! I struggle every day, with pain and fatigue, so when I get an illness as well, it’s just too much.

Anyway, the virus has gone now, and I’m back to normal – or as normal as I get! And I’m ready to keep fighting, and working, and pushing as much as I can.

Yes – I would love to give up work, and concentrate on me, but that’s not going to happen any time soon, so I’m going to get as much positive out of it as possible, and enjoy it, till my next black spell at least. And I miss my colleagues too much when I’m not there.

Not doing my weekly stats this week, didn’t go to weigh in again – don’t get paid till tomorrow and I’m skint! So figured I wouldn’t bore you with the same figures again . I am being good though, when I get weighed next week I would like to have lost my Christmas weight so I can start afresh.

Till next week

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Breaking myself in gently!

Week 2.

15 stone 13.5lb.

3 stone 13.5lb to goal

-2lb

43000 steps

Well week 1 was a bit hit and miss, each day started off well & ended not so well!

My daily syns ranged from 13 to 33, most days being closer to the 30 than than the 13!

But it’s a starting point, and I’m happy with that.

The boss was up from London, and we were busy, so by the time I got home I had no brain power left, and although I had planned my meals for the week, I didn’t have the energy to convince myself to have them. My appraisal went well though. I hate appraisals, I hate having to talk about myself.

An added bit of support for me – Hubby went to the Doctor and they talked about losing weight as it’s getting him down so he’s now on track with me. Doctor has referred him to SW, but I think that’s most probably a step too far for him just now, he needs to work on that idea.

I’m so happy though – I do worry about him so much, and it will do him the world of good to lose some weight with me.

This week should be better. I’ve prepped lunches! We were supposed to be having minestrone soup, but it turned out a bit thick so we are now having vegetable pasta. Looks nice.

Teas are planned out, but it’s going to be a tough week as hubby is working late which means I will be cooking which is never successful.

But let’s see what the scales say.

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Instagram #michelle1969

It wasn’t pretty!

Week 1.

16stone 1.5lb.

4 stone 1.5lb to goal

15lb +.

48000 steps

Well I went! And it was as bad as I’d known it would be! 15lb on since I last went before Christmas!

But I was ok,

I never wobbled when I stepped on the scales

I never wobbled while I helped out with the newbies

I never wobbled as I sold the raffle tickets

And all was good!

Until our consultant came to me first, and started talking about what a tough couple of months I’d had!

I told her – don’t – I’ll cry, but hey ho! We are there to share, and I cried!

Rest of the class was fine, everyone had done well, and as always I was proud of them!

And I love seeing them all and having a natter!

Rest of the day was spent coming to terms with how far I’ve got to go, I’ve actually got to lose 12.5lb before I get back to my original start weight!

But I’m determined this time. I read something the other day that the main cause of death fir us Lupies is actually weight related issues, and I quite like living so the weight is coming off!

I’ve been out for a walk both days, today I even jogged for a bit, which was THE most amazing feeling!

Soup & lunches prepared for the week, evening meals planned!

This week will be a success!

Enjoy yours, whatever you’re up to!

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Instagram #michelle1969

My perception of Good News has definitely changed!

Short one this week!

I found out on Friday that I may have a B12 deficiency and I was so excited! There’s a chance I can have a course of injections that will give me more energy! Made me realise just what my life has become! I’m off to have more blood tests tomorrow to have it confirmed.

Doc also thinks that one of my tablets is causing my upset tummy so she’s weaning me off them over the next few weeks to see if it makes a difference – another positive if it’s something that simple.

All in all things are good just now, I have 2 four day weeks in work, 5 days left of doing a particular job that I hate, which means I can actually get back to doing the job I love, the weight is coming off slowly and surely, and I’ve got a week away to look forward to, as well as my birthday!

Happy times!

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A Positive Week Needed

Had a bit of a crappy week last week! Had a really upset tummy, and very little energy or motivation!

Worked from home all week and pretty much avoided as many people as possible.

Had some tests at the doctors, and just waiting for the results to see if I have an infection or not! Because of some of the tablets I’m on, if it is an infection, it will floor me! Such fun!

Anyway – my eating wasn’t completely on plan, didn’t eat anywhere near enough fruit and veg, and had two takeaways. I did pick the “healthy” option though, so a small victory there.

I was dreading Saturday but I actually lost a 1lb! More than happy! Definitely felt like I’d been let off with that one.

So off I went to get my hair cut, happy as a happy thing, and my hairdresser worked his usual magic on me. I always without fail feel gorgeous when I leave him, even if that feeling only lasts a while, it is such a good feeling! I’ve gone blonde as well, which is a bit of a shock, but hey, I’ve never been known to stay the same colour for too long!

This week – I’m going to make a really big effort! Food will be good, I will go into the office, and get some extra steps in, and I will stay as happy as possible!

I’ve had a bit of a tidy up too! Cleared some more books away, cried a bit when I put my running books away, but I will get them out again one day, I have to, I can’t think that I will never run again.

Looks like we are about to go into autumn very quickly, weather is horrible, but that just means snugly nights, and warming casseroles, all good!

And fingers crossed, my bug doesn’t last much longer!

Have a good week everyone

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London!Β 

We had our trip to London at the beginning of the week!  And what a trip it was!  I love London!  I love the buzz, the hustle & bustle of it all.  I love the variety of people!  I love the speed of the travel, and the busyness of it all.

We travelled mid afternoon on Monday, but made a day of it having lunch out at one of our favourite pubs first.

You will gather from this post that I’m a very excitable traveller and just love holidays! 

The train trip from Liverpool to London was quiet, non eventful, but lots of people watching was done, and snacking!  I have to have snacks on a train for some reason.  

And then we reached Euston and my fun began!  The Tube!   The experience is just amazing!  I could quite happily jump on and off all day travelling to different stations, up and down the escalators, more people watching, but off we went to the hotel instead.

We were staying out by The Excel!  Hotel was very basic, but spotlessly clean, we’d bought some sandwiches and had a picnic on the bed!  Then went out for a walk – I was tired, so wanted an early night and decided to just explore locally.

Close by was Royal Victoria Dock, a lovely area,   several small cafes & restaurants, lots of posh flats overlooking the dock, more people watching – there were lots of joggers out and about, and I suffer from running envy, and watch with fascination different styles.

There was a bridge over the dock, very odd bridge, it looked like it was suspended in the air.  Either side was a staircase within a tower, and the bridge hung above this.  We climbed up, mainly to see the view, only to discover that it overlooked London City Airport runway!  That was me gone!!  I love planes!!!  So very much!  I didn’t want to ever leave that bridge.  Watching the planes take off and fly over us. I’ve taken one or two (????) pictures!!   Made my night!  

Next day we started off early after a lovely cooked breakfast.  I’m scared of heights, but somewhere in my mixed up mind I’d come to the conclusion that heights can’t be as bad as what I’d gone through in hospital and thought I’d put it to the test while away, so agreed to go on a cable car over the Thames and on The Eye!  Mad woman that I am.   Cable car was fine, with some good views along the Thames!  We then jumped on the Thames Clipper – a water bus that stops off at various different places along the river, and went to The Eye.  Queued for about 15 minutes which wasn’t long enough for my fear to strike.  And I enjoyed most of that too.  Stood up by the window taking pictures, and it was only when we were at the top that I got a bit spooked, but kept a death grip on the rail until we started coming back down again!   Hubby said he was very proud of me! 

Then the madness began.  We had about 7 hours to see the rest of London and see it we did!  All on foot!  We walked from West Minster to the Tower of London, with everything in between.  By the time we got to the Tower I was in agony.  Feet were killing me, legs were cramping, I was so hot and tired it was untrue!   But a sit down for half an hour and a cup of tea and I was fine.  

And then back on the Tube, more snacks purchased and the long journey home.

Got home just after midnight.  Had the most perfect time, loved every second, and would do it all again!  Possibly next year when I’ve recovered from this one!  

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Positivity!Β 

I read today that depression is one of the symptoms of Lupus!  And it stupidly made me feel better about it!  I have no idea why!  After all the stuff I’ve been through these last 8 months, it’s hardly surprising that it’s all caught up with me, and I need a bit of help to get my positivity back.  But I actually feel guilty for being depressed.  Things are finally starting to improve for me, and while I do have to still deal with the day to day problems, I am getting better at managing them, and my meds seem to be settling down and working now, so I should be as happy as a happy thing!  

But anyway!  That’s just my mixed up head!  

Another example of it – yesterday I told hubby that I’m actually grateful I went through what I did!  I follow a lot of Lupus sites, and so many people say they have trouble being diagnosed, and their doctors don’t take them seriously, and take forever to prescribe medication for them!  At least I was diagnosed very quickly as I was in hospital and they had to figure out what was up with me, and treat me!  

And another good thing – we are now off work for two weeks!  Hoping to get out and about a lot, build my legs up again, and hopefully – with not sitting down at my desk all day – lose a bit of weight too!

Hope you all have a good week

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