Obsessed with โ€œon this dayโ€!

I’m a bit of a FB addict, always have been, always will be, and this is a bit about that!

For those that don’t know, there’s a feature on there called “on this day”. Basically it shows you what you posted “on this day” over previous years.

And for the last few months I’ve become a bit obsessed with it! From about September last year I started checking it out, to see if there was any hint of what was to come, but no, there was nothing, not even particularly tired! I’d recently run a 10k, I was eating healthily, I was sleep well, work was good….

Then from October onwards I was checking what happened, a lot of my time in hospital was a blur so I was looking for clues. It didn’t help much as I went a bit FB awol! This is how a lot of my friends knew I was seriously ill – because I vanished!

After that I got to December and saw that I’d come home, and January I’ve been watching my progress.

Over the next few months I will be watching how I got stronger and returned back to work, and how I managed with that.

Then hopefully my obsession will fade a bit …..

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Instagram. #Michelle1969

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Week 1 didnโ€™t go to plan!

Yesterday was bad!

I’ve not slept properly the last couple of nights as I’ve been stressy over a few things – work, my weight, my pains, so I was in a bit of a state!

I also knew I was going to have put over a stone on at weigh in, and knowing that I had to go and face up to that officially wasn’t helping with my mood.

Anyway – I got ready, went to wait for the bus and the stupid thing didn’t turn up! As I was going just for weigh in, I had no spare time to get there any other way so didn’t go.

We then went to our local beach, had breakfast, went for a walk for an hour, did a bit of shopping and came home

The beach is my calm place, I love being there! I took lots of pictures, breathed in the sea air, and thought lots.

And that’s when I cried!

I cried lots, I broke down. I just sobbed uncontrollably for 30 minutes. I cried it all out! I cried until there was nothing left.

I think I got it out of my system! I hope I got it out of my system! Till next time anyway! I do have a meltdown from time to time, and yesterday was one of those times.

Anyway – the rest of the week has been ok, my food had been reasonably good, and I’d got almost 40000 steps in. I’ve planned all of next week too. I’ve actually lost 8lb unofficially since last Tuesday so at least delaying the official one may go in my favour.

Until next week …..

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Instagram. #Michelle1969

Itโ€™s been a while!

3 months to be precise!

Itโ€™s been a strange few months, and Iโ€™ve struggled with it. Trying to get my meds right, and finding the right balance between doing things, and sleeping.

Everything had taken a bit of a back step while Iโ€™ve been getting my head together, and Iโ€™m now suffering with the extra weight Iโ€™ve put on.

But I do feel ready to take control of that again. Itโ€™s time to start eating properly, lose weight and get as fit as I can.

Ultimately itโ€™s going to make my life easier, and the Lupus more manageable so itโ€™s got to be worth it, and this time itโ€™s more than just vanity.

Iโ€™m going to need lots of support, so I plan on using my blog to write up my weekly ups and downs. My weekly weight loss – fingers crossed, my weekly steps, how Iโ€™m feeling, my good and bad days – things like that!

Iโ€™m also going to give my all to Slimming World. I go to weigh in every Saturday, and stay to class, so it will be every Sunday I do my update here.

Iโ€™m going to be as positive as I can about this, and that should bring about the results I want.

My first weigh in is next Saturday so until then…..

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My perception of Good News has definitely changed!

Short one this week!

I found out on Friday that I may have a B12 deficiency and I was so excited! Thereโ€™s a chance I can have a course of injections that will give me more energy! Made me realise just what my life has become! Iโ€™m off to have more blood tests tomorrow to have it confirmed.

Doc also thinks that one of my tablets is causing my upset tummy so sheโ€™s weaning me off them over the next few weeks to see if it makes a difference – another positive if itโ€™s something that simple.

All in all things are good just now, I have 2 four day weeks in work, 5 days left of doing a particular job that I hate, which means I can actually get back to doing the job I love, the weight is coming off slowly and surely, and Iโ€™ve got a week away to look forward to, as well as my birthday!

Happy times!

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A Positive Week Needed

Had a bit of a crappy week last week! Had a really upset tummy, and very little energy or motivation!

Worked from home all week and pretty much avoided as many people as possible.

Had some tests at the doctors, and just waiting for the results to see if I have an infection or not! Because of some of the tablets I’m on, if it is an infection, it will floor me! Such fun!

Anyway – my eating wasn’t completely on plan, didn’t eat anywhere near enough fruit and veg, and had two takeaways. I did pick the “healthy” option though, so a small victory there.

I was dreading Saturday but I actually lost a 1lb! More than happy! Definitely felt like I’d been let off with that one.

So off I went to get my hair cut, happy as a happy thing, and my hairdresser worked his usual magic on me. I always without fail feel gorgeous when I leave him, even if that feeling only lasts a while, it is such a good feeling! I’ve gone blonde as well, which is a bit of a shock, but hey, I’ve never been known to stay the same colour for too long!

This week – I’m going to make a really big effort! Food will be good, I will go into the office, and get some extra steps in, and I will stay as happy as possible!

I’ve had a bit of a tidy up too! Cleared some more books away, cried a bit when I put my running books away, but I will get them out again one day, I have to, I can’t think that I will never run again.

Looks like we are about to go into autumn very quickly, weather is horrible, but that just means snugly nights, and warming casseroles, all good!

And fingers crossed, my bug doesn’t last much longer!

Have a good week everyone

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Welcome to September!

First things first! Two weeks in to Slimming World and I’ve lost 8lb! Got my first half stone award! And I couldn’t be happier about it!

It has been relatively easy! During the week we are keeping it very simple, ready meals and jacket potatoes! Weekend I’m cooking meals! They have been so simple, and tasty! And hubby is happy with it too!

The rest of the group, are really nice too, can see me making some good friends there!

I’ve also started a “September Self Care” month with a Lupus site I follow! There’s a new “challenge” every day designed to look after and love yourself. I like this! Could be a bit rough some days though, but I’m really going to try hard.

http://www.spoonietalk.com/self-care-september/?utm_campaign=shareaholic&utm_medium=email_this&utm_source=email

Struggling with my health just now though – that sounds a stupid statement as I struggle every day with the Lupus – but this is more. I’ve got such an upset tummy, have had for a week now, and this weekend has been awful! Going to work from home tomorrow and get an appointment at the Docs! Sure it’s nothing to be concerned about, but just a little niggle in the back of my mind is thinking it’s the Lupus attacking another part of my body! So I just need to check it out for reassurance if nothing else!

Anyway – hope you all have a good week!

Much love

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This one is for my boss!ย 

I was out for a meal with my boss the other evening and we were chatting. 
 He asked if I planned on getting back into my boxing? 

 I laughed! I barely have the energy to walk to the bus stop and back every day! 

I was telling hubby how funny I found this, and he pointed out that I don’t actually tell anyone how bad I am, so how is the boss supposed to know!   

He’s got a point! So here goes! This is how my normal day goes!  

I get up and I’m tired, not just normal tired, but completely and utterly. I’m in pain, my hips hurt, my knees hurt, I’ve slept, but a disturbed sleep, as when I turn over or move, something hurts and wakes me up!  

I normally take pain killers with the rest of my daily tablets, just to ease the pain enough to get me ready.

Most days I get the bus outside ours, as the 15 minute walk to the main bus stop wears me out. But if it can’t be helped, if I have to go in early, by the time I finish the walk, I’m melting, and tired, and feel sick.

The next thirty minutes bus ride are spent drinking water and cooling down before getting to work.

During the day, I seize up from sitting, and have to get up to walk. 

Or my brain stops working – the brain fog – and I have to sit quietly and try to focus, just to remember what I was doing before I had my blank.

 I don’t have the energy to walk into town at lunch now, and try to avoid the heat as much as possible anyway, as that just floors me.

Then I’ve got to do the home journey! Most evenings by the time I get home, I want to cry I’m hurting so much, I have to go up the stairs on all 4’s as my knees haven’t got the strength to get me up them.

I sit and eat my meal, and am normally in bed by 9pm, all ready to start again the following day.

By the end of the week I’m beat.

My weekends are spent relaxing, I will get the bus up to our local shops for some bits, but I’ve had the online shop delivered with the majority of the shopping.

On top of this, I have my dizzy spells, and migraines, and horrific mood swings, with depression.  

And that’s about it. That’s my life now.

Not much of one, but I try and make the most of it. I’m lucky as most of the time I’m happy as long as I’m with my hubby, but sometimes it’s frustrating.  

This weekend I’d wanted to go out for a while, just to our local beach, but I’d had a bad week, so didn’t have the energy, and had a bit of an upset tummy.

I am hoping that it gets better, I’m hoping as I lose weight with eating healthily, I will get a bit more energy, and possibly start walking more.  

And my ultimate goal is to get back to running, but I think that’s a long way off yet.

In the meantime – I will keep going, keep quiet, and remain my normal, happy self, keeping my meltdowns till I’m home.

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Taking Some Control Back!

It’s been a messy few weeks! ย Getting back to work after our holiday, putting more and more weight on, being incredibly busy and unbelievably tired.

I’ve struggled!

But I’ve decided I’m not going to let it get the better of me!

Time to get back to being as healthy as I can.

I’m always happier when I eat well, and I’m hoping as I lose weight I will be able to exercise more, and I’m definitely happier then.

I’ve ย done a bit of research into eating for Lupus, and your bog standard diets out there. ย I know I’m not strong enough emotionally to do this on my own, so had to find a group that was as close to what I needed as possible and Slimming World seems to tick most of the boxes.

I’m “lucky” as I’m over weight, my Doctor referred me, which means I get 12 weeks free membership, and I’m hoping in that time, I get my head round it properly and get into a routine, and most importantly fall in love with it, and the benefits it offers me.

Thats the plan anyway.

I went to my first class yesterday, had my new members meeting, got all my information, and got weighed. ย Set my ultimate target, and my 10% target, and went on my way. ย Nice group, everyone seems friendly, and of course, all there for the same reason.

This week is a bit of a convenience week – lots of SW ready meals, just to give me the time to prepare, and read up about it, and prepare my menu for the week.

I’ve done that this morning, spent about an hour going through my books, and looking online and I now have a full week menu, ready for my online shop on Wednesday.

First impression – I can eat an awful lot!

Been out out for a walk too, for about an hour, I need to be more active! ย  But small steps!

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London!ย 

We had our trip to London at the beginning of the week!  And what a trip it was!  I love London!  I love the buzz, the hustle & bustle of it all.  I love the variety of people!  I love the speed of the travel, and the busyness of it all.

We travelled mid afternoon on Monday, but made a day of it having lunch out at one of our favourite pubs first.

You will gather from this post that I’m a very excitable traveller and just love holidays! 

The train trip from Liverpool to London was quiet, non eventful, but lots of people watching was done, and snacking!  I have to have snacks on a train for some reason.  

And then we reached Euston and my fun began!  The Tube!   The experience is just amazing!  I could quite happily jump on and off all day travelling to different stations, up and down the escalators, more people watching, but off we went to the hotel instead.

We were staying out by The Excel!  Hotel was very basic, but spotlessly clean, we’d bought some sandwiches and had a picnic on the bed!  Then went out for a walk – I was tired, so wanted an early night and decided to just explore locally.

Close by was Royal Victoria Dock, a lovely area,   several small cafes & restaurants, lots of posh flats overlooking the dock, more people watching – there were lots of joggers out and about, and I suffer from running envy, and watch with fascination different styles.

There was a bridge over the dock, very odd bridge, it looked like it was suspended in the air.  Either side was a staircase within a tower, and the bridge hung above this.  We climbed up, mainly to see the view, only to discover that it overlooked London City Airport runway!  That was me gone!!  I love planes!!!  So very much!  I didn’t want to ever leave that bridge.  Watching the planes take off and fly over us. I’ve taken one or two (????) pictures!!   Made my night!  

Next day we started off early after a lovely cooked breakfast.  I’m scared of heights, but somewhere in my mixed up mind I’d come to the conclusion that heights can’t be as bad as what I’d gone through in hospital and thought I’d put it to the test while away, so agreed to go on a cable car over the Thames and on The Eye!  Mad woman that I am.   Cable car was fine, with some good views along the Thames!  We then jumped on the Thames Clipper – a water bus that stops off at various different places along the river, and went to The Eye.  Queued for about 15 minutes which wasn’t long enough for my fear to strike.  And I enjoyed most of that too.  Stood up by the window taking pictures, and it was only when we were at the top that I got a bit spooked, but kept a death grip on the rail until we started coming back down again!   Hubby said he was very proud of me! 

Then the madness began.  We had about 7 hours to see the rest of London and see it we did!  All on foot!  We walked from West Minster to the Tower of London, with everything in between.  By the time we got to the Tower I was in agony.  Feet were killing me, legs were cramping, I was so hot and tired it was untrue!   But a sit down for half an hour and a cup of tea and I was fine.  

And then back on the Tube, more snacks purchased and the long journey home.

Got home just after midnight.  Had the most perfect time, loved every second, and would do it all again!  Possibly next year when I’ve recovered from this one!  

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