This is going to be a very wallowing in self pity post!
Feel free to skip it, and I will return to my normal positive self shortly.
So! I’m not well! I have a viral infection! And I feel like crap!
Now I don’t know if it’s the virus that’s so bad, or the Lupus that makes it worse, or the meds I’m on that make me more prone! Whatever the reason – I wish it would do one!
Started off last Wednesday with a sore throat, and went down hill rapidly from then.
A bit of background – Lupus is an autoimmune disease which means my body basically attacks itself, and I’m on really strong tablets to lower my immune system to protect my body a bit.
Unfortunately this means that I pick up anything & everything.
It’s currently 1am, and I’m lying in bed in pain!
Everything is hurting, and I mean everything! The worst pain is in my legs, my shins and ankles, and my hips! But my hands are bad too, and my shoulders.
When I stand up at the moment, my joints are in agony, and I have to stand for a minute or two for them to adjust to the new angle! I’m having to go up the stairs on all fours as my knees can’t support the weight while stepping!
I’m struggling to hold my phone, actually, I’m not holding it, it’s laying on my pillow & I’m typing with one finger.
On top of this, my throat is sore, it hurts to swallow! Although I have found that whole meal toast scratches my throat and gives me some relief! My nose is streaming! I’m doing a very good impression of Rudolph! And I have the most awful hacking cough! That alternates between making me sick and crying!
Been to the doctors and she’s signed me off work for 2 weeks! My chest is clear at the moment, but I’m to do deep breathing exercises to keep it that way! I have a slight temperature and a slightly inflamed throat. Nothing to risk a course of antibiotics just yet! I’ve just got to ride it out for now. Plenty of fluids, plenty of painkillers, plenty of rest!
I’ve got my normal bloods in the morning so that will put my mind to rest that it is just a virus and not a flare! I do know it’s not, but no harm in being sure!
I hate being ill so much, I hate not being able to have fun with hubby, or just enjoy being with him! Both of us work full time and are shattered when we get home, so our time together when we are awake is precious.
I hate being ill so much, I hate seeing the concern and worry in my sons eyes! He really struggled when I was bad, and he is so protective of me now!
I hate being ill so much, I hate worrying my mum & dad! They want to look after me, and they struggle with not being able to.
I hate being ill so much, I hate hearing my friends worry about me!
I hate being ill so much, I hate not being able to do things around home! I don’t do an awful lot anyway, but putting the extra pressure on hubby to look after me as well is horrible.
I hate being ill so much, I hate letting my boss down! I love my job, and enjoy it, and have a lot of responsibility & I can’t be there to get it done!
My dying swan act is still very raw for my close ones, and I know how difficult all this is for them.
The sooner I get over this, the better! So Doctors orders will be followed.
If you made it this far, thank you for listening! Normal service will resume shortly.