Trying to run again

The last few weekends I’ve been out ‘running’ and when I say running I actually mean power walking with a few attempts at a very slow jog.

The two times I’ve been out have been completely different experiences.

The first time was wonderful and magical and exciting.

I have always loved running with all my heart, and I have missed it so very much. Going out and actually putting a bit of speed into my walk was …… I don’t even have the words for how I felt – it was just so good! It reminded of how much I enjoy it, how free I feel, how all my troubles fall away! And I’ve got so many more now – running is needed.

I was on a high for the rest of the day.

The second time I went out – it was painful! Nothing felt right, my walking was off, and when I did attempt to jog, it actually felt like I’d forgotten how to run. My legs hurt, my chest was tight, even my neck and shoulders hurt.

It was horrible and I was so glad it was over. I spent the rest of the day feeling sorry for myself!

It’s taken me a few days to write this as it really upset me – my running is the one thing I’m holding on to – in my mixed up head I think if I can run again everything will be better.

I know it won’t! And I know that I will never run again like I used to! But it still hurt knowing how far away I am from any normality.

Anyway – next weekend I will go out again! I need to get the feeling of the first time out back into my heart, not the second time.

I’m not one to say never, being a stubborn madam, so let’s just wait and see what happens next time.

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Instagram. #michelle1969

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Breaking myself in gently!

Week 2.

15 stone 13.5lb.

3 stone 13.5lb to goal

-2lb

43000 steps

Well week 1 was a bit hit and miss, each day started off well & ended not so well!

My daily syns ranged from 13 to 33, most days being closer to the 30 than than the 13!

But it’s a starting point, and I’m happy with that.

The boss was up from London, and we were busy, so by the time I got home I had no brain power left, and although I had planned my meals for the week, I didn’t have the energy to convince myself to have them. My appraisal went well though. I hate appraisals, I hate having to talk about myself.

An added bit of support for me – Hubby went to the Doctor and they talked about losing weight as it’s getting him down so he’s now on track with me. Doctor has referred him to SW, but I think that’s most probably a step too far for him just now, he needs to work on that idea.

I’m so happy though – I do worry about him so much, and it will do him the world of good to lose some weight with me.

This week should be better. I’ve prepped lunches! We were supposed to be having minestrone soup, but it turned out a bit thick so we are now having vegetable pasta. Looks nice.

Teas are planned out, but it’s going to be a tough week as hubby is working late which means I will be cooking which is never successful.

But let’s see what the scales say.

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Instagram #michelle1969

My perception of Good News has definitely changed!

Short one this week!

I found out on Friday that I may have a B12 deficiency and I was so excited! There’s a chance I can have a course of injections that will give me more energy! Made me realise just what my life has become! I’m off to have more blood tests tomorrow to have it confirmed.

Doc also thinks that one of my tablets is causing my upset tummy so she’s weaning me off them over the next few weeks to see if it makes a difference – another positive if it’s something that simple.

All in all things are good just now, I have 2 four day weeks in work, 5 days left of doing a particular job that I hate, which means I can actually get back to doing the job I love, the weight is coming off slowly and surely, and I’ve got a week away to look forward to, as well as my birthday!

Happy times!

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A Positive Week Needed

Had a bit of a crappy week last week! Had a really upset tummy, and very little energy or motivation!

Worked from home all week and pretty much avoided as many people as possible.

Had some tests at the doctors, and just waiting for the results to see if I have an infection or not! Because of some of the tablets I’m on, if it is an infection, it will floor me! Such fun!

Anyway – my eating wasn’t completely on plan, didn’t eat anywhere near enough fruit and veg, and had two takeaways. I did pick the “healthy” option though, so a small victory there.

I was dreading Saturday but I actually lost a 1lb! More than happy! Definitely felt like I’d been let off with that one.

So off I went to get my hair cut, happy as a happy thing, and my hairdresser worked his usual magic on me. I always without fail feel gorgeous when I leave him, even if that feeling only lasts a while, it is such a good feeling! I’ve gone blonde as well, which is a bit of a shock, but hey, I’ve never been known to stay the same colour for too long!

This week – I’m going to make a really big effort! Food will be good, I will go into the office, and get some extra steps in, and I will stay as happy as possible!

I’ve had a bit of a tidy up too! Cleared some more books away, cried a bit when I put my running books away, but I will get them out again one day, I have to, I can’t think that I will never run again.

Looks like we are about to go into autumn very quickly, weather is horrible, but that just means snugly nights, and warming casseroles, all good!

And fingers crossed, my bug doesn’t last much longer!

Have a good week everyone

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London!Β 

We had our trip to London at the beginning of the week!  And what a trip it was!  I love London!  I love the buzz, the hustle & bustle of it all.  I love the variety of people!  I love the speed of the travel, and the busyness of it all.

We travelled mid afternoon on Monday, but made a day of it having lunch out at one of our favourite pubs first.

You will gather from this post that I’m a very excitable traveller and just love holidays! 

The train trip from Liverpool to London was quiet, non eventful, but lots of people watching was done, and snacking!  I have to have snacks on a train for some reason.  

And then we reached Euston and my fun began!  The Tube!   The experience is just amazing!  I could quite happily jump on and off all day travelling to different stations, up and down the escalators, more people watching, but off we went to the hotel instead.

We were staying out by The Excel!  Hotel was very basic, but spotlessly clean, we’d bought some sandwiches and had a picnic on the bed!  Then went out for a walk – I was tired, so wanted an early night and decided to just explore locally.

Close by was Royal Victoria Dock, a lovely area,   several small cafes & restaurants, lots of posh flats overlooking the dock, more people watching – there were lots of joggers out and about, and I suffer from running envy, and watch with fascination different styles.

There was a bridge over the dock, very odd bridge, it looked like it was suspended in the air.  Either side was a staircase within a tower, and the bridge hung above this.  We climbed up, mainly to see the view, only to discover that it overlooked London City Airport runway!  That was me gone!!  I love planes!!!  So very much!  I didn’t want to ever leave that bridge.  Watching the planes take off and fly over us. I’ve taken one or two (????) pictures!!   Made my night!  

Next day we started off early after a lovely cooked breakfast.  I’m scared of heights, but somewhere in my mixed up mind I’d come to the conclusion that heights can’t be as bad as what I’d gone through in hospital and thought I’d put it to the test while away, so agreed to go on a cable car over the Thames and on The Eye!  Mad woman that I am.   Cable car was fine, with some good views along the Thames!  We then jumped on the Thames Clipper – a water bus that stops off at various different places along the river, and went to The Eye.  Queued for about 15 minutes which wasn’t long enough for my fear to strike.  And I enjoyed most of that too.  Stood up by the window taking pictures, and it was only when we were at the top that I got a bit spooked, but kept a death grip on the rail until we started coming back down again!   Hubby said he was very proud of me! 

Then the madness began.  We had about 7 hours to see the rest of London and see it we did!  All on foot!  We walked from West Minster to the Tower of London, with everything in between.  By the time we got to the Tower I was in agony.  Feet were killing me, legs were cramping, I was so hot and tired it was untrue!   But a sit down for half an hour and a cup of tea and I was fine.  

And then back on the Tube, more snacks purchased and the long journey home.

Got home just after midnight.  Had the most perfect time, loved every second, and would do it all again!  Possibly next year when I’ve recovered from this one!  

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Excited Muchly!Β 

I am so excited just now! We are finishing work next Friday for two weeks and we have booked an overnight stay in London!  

I love London!  And it’s years since we have been to stay.

I go there a lot with work, but don’t actually see anything of it!  Just pass through!  

I have asked if I can pack already!! 

We have booked to go on the Eye as well! 😳.  I’m still not sure what possessed me to agree to that one!  I’m petrified of heights!  I’ve also said I’m going on the Emirate cable car!  

I’m a bit nervous about it, as it’s going to be a long couple of days, with lots of walking, but mainly I am giddy with excitement.

Just got to get through the next 5 days – which are going to be busy! The boss is up for a few days, and then I need to make sure I’m up to date before going off.

And an update on my mood – much more settled!  Been over a week now since I’ve cried!  So that’s a positive thing! 

Hope you’re all good! 
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Putting my Goals Out There!Β 

I’m struggling with sticking to a proper & regular exercise plan, so I’m declaring my goals publically in the hope that being accountable will make me shift myself.
So my goals for this week

  1. To do 30 minutes of exercise ever day – except Saturday
  2. To stick with in my calorie allowance

I’m just doing this week by week, one week at a time for now, till I get back into a routine

Benefits

  1. I will be happier
  2. I will sleep better
  3. I will like my legs again
  4. I won’t be in so much pain
  5. I will lose weight 
  6. I will tone up
  7. I will be happier – this one needs mentioning twice as it’s the most important one, and exercise does make me so much happier.

I will let you know next week how I got on.

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In a Proper Strop!

I’m in a proper strop with myself this weekend.  I’m not used to not being able to do everything and I’m struggling just now.
Before I went back to work, I’d got in to a nice routine – getting up early, doing some exercise, either strength training or power walking, doing a bit of housework, watching some quizzes on TV, and cooking healthy meals, and I felt good, and was getting stronger by the day, sleeping properly and generally happy.
But being back at work has completely floored me.  I’m shattered, especially now I’ve finished the phased return and am back full time.  I’m not doing any exercise, and I’m eating crap, and feel crap.  
Now I do know it’s going to get better, but it is so frustrating, and I’m feeling really fed up about it all.
But time to think positively!  I know I’m not ready to run yet, but the strength training was really helping – I’ve noticed my leg is a lot more painful since I’ve stopped, so I need to get back to doing that regularly.  

And I need to get back to eating healthily – so I’m going for a kick start!  This is my next three weeks.

  • No sweets
  • No cake
  • No chips
  • No white bread
  • No fast food
  • No chocolate
  • No ice cream
  • No crisps

I’ve made a nice big salad for lunch tomorrow, I have brown bread ready for my breakfast, and I have enough quick, healthy meals I can fall back on to get me through the next week.   They need to be quick so that I can do my exercises when I get in from work, and still eat before it gets too late.  
This is the plan anyway………
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