I’m there again!
Fat and frumpy and fed up!
The last few weeks I’ve not been feeling it at all!
I’ve struggled with staying on plan, I’ve skipped classes, I’ve ate my way through days, with more rubbish than I care to admit to!
And the last couple of days I’ve cried.
None of my clothes fit me again, not even my fat clothes, everything is tight, my back is cut because my bra strap is digging in to me & my tummy has scratches from my waist band! My security blanket cardigans are being worn constantly, even at the weekends now!
And I’m in so much pain, my pain is bad anyway, but it just gets so much worse when I put on even more weight! I’ve just got myself a foldaway walking stick because some evenings when I’m on my way home, I just haven’t got the strength to do the 15 minute walk, and it’s quite scary, so figured if I had a bit of support in my bag I might feel a bit better.
And to make myself feel better? I eat more crap!
I truly don’t know what to do to break this cycle, I know I have to, but I’m not quite low enough to actually do it.
I had my antidepressants upped in the week, so I’m hoping that once they kick in I will feel better about myself, and get back on track.
I’ve always been honest about my food, writing everything down, even my bad days, but I’m not even doing that at the moment. Maybe that’s what I need to do.
I’m going for one day at a time! Tomorrow I will write everything! I have my breakfast and lunch planned. And my snacks. I also have enough meals planned for the evenings for the week, so I just have to not eat extras, and I will have a few days of success.
I know I’m also ruining hubby’s weight loss. He has been brilliant, and lost over 2 stone, and I keep leading him astray, and he doesn’t need that.
Hopefully next week will be a more positive tale.